Welcome To My Nightmare

For years all I wanted was to go back to school and relive some of my last moments of peace before everything went to shit... and now that the opportunity arose (through some reunions), I found that I'm extremely bothered by the prospect of stepping back into that fucking building. Isn't that wild?!

And the worst part is that I don't actually know why that is... I like the building itself, and walking it under the moonlight during that first reunion was extremely nostalgic for me, yet something wasn't clicking. Perhaps it was the lack of familiar faces (my entire class was a no-show), or perhaps it was the fact that no-one even acknowledged my existence (but then again, that's hardly new). Whatever the case, I felt lost and lonelier than ever in the one place where that wasn't an issue. I was extremely gutted by that realization as soon as it hit.

And it's not like I hadn't tried to engage in the past... hell, I went as far as to SNEAKING INTO THE BUILDING during the elections just to sit on my favorite spot. I'm lucky I wasn't arrested on trespassing charges, now that I think about it.

I'm also on the Whatsapp group tasked with planning these reunions, but I have hardly spoken a word (I have barely even read it), and I have missed the first four meetings. We will see how long until they kick me out.

I'm not very happy, you know? And it should be... that was the last place I actually enjoyed life in. But now that memory has been corrupted. Completely fucked. And I'm screaming on the fucking inside.

UGH!

Song: "Sk8ter Boi" by Avril Lavigne.

Mood: Devastated.